D’-A-R-T

Quick ‘n’ Painless

Novos termos do Mercado

Posted by Diego Beyer em novembro 24, 2008

Extraído do blog de finanças pessoais Cash Money Life, os novos termos do Mercado à luz da nova realidade econômica:

  • CEO. Chief Embezzlement Officer.
  • CFO. Corporate Fraud Officer.
  • BULL MARKET. A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
  • BEAR MARKET. A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
  • VALUE INVESTING. The art of buying low and selling lower.
  • P/E RATIO. The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
  • BROKER. What my broker has made me.
  • STANDARD & POOR. Your life in a nutshell.
  • STOCK ANALYST. Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
  • STOCK SPLIT. When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
  • FINANCIAL PLANNER. A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
  • MARKET CORRECTION. The day after you buy stocks.
  • CASH FLOW. The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
  • YAHOO. What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
  • WINDOWS. What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
  • INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR. Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
  • PROFIT. An archaic word no longer in use.

Assino embaixo. Especialmente o “Profit”.

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